BiFurious

Sexuality - the very core of what defines us. I know, there is a collective gasp going on right now. Our puritanical ancestors are all rolling in their graves and cursing my putrid, perverted soul into the despair-filled depths of hell. However, we as individuals find our identities in our sexuality.
I'm not interested in debating this today. Trust I will get into the how, why, and generalizations in another post. Today I want to talk about bisexuality and what it means to me. More precisely, dispelling the myths of what that actually says about me.

Since I am so fond of lists, lets start off with one of those:

Completely wrong and prejudiced assumptions I get when I "come out" to somebody:

1. "You just want to have sex with everybody."
This is an infuriating misconception. Let us look at real life experience. This actually really happened; on different occasions; with different people; no joke.
I was at a gathering, conversating with a group and as I mingled I encountered a very interesting man. We talked about a variety of topics and then it happened. He propositioned me and I politely turned him down. Now, he was a good looking fellow, don't get me wrong, but I was just not attracted to him. What followed was a massive 15 car pile up with burning bodies strewn everywhere. "What do you mean you don't want to have sex with me?" he said. I just wasn't feeling it. He got mad because I was a tease, talking about being bi so openly and was offended because I had turned him down. The odd thing is that this, as I said before, has and does happen with some amount of regularity and not just from men. Couples, men, and women get horribly offended when the bi girl is just not that into them. A slut is no more bi than a bi person is a slut. There are bi sluts out there just like there are homosexual and straight sluts, but not every bi person is a slut.

2. "You're just confused," or "You just don't know what you are yet."
These ideas quite honestly make me feel like kicking some babies and punching some random puppies.
Seriously? I may be suffering major confusion toward emulsifying butter and not quite know what I want to be when I actually grow up, but who I love and what I am attracted to harbor no questions from my part. My attraction to both masculine and feminine genders was very obvious to me from the time I was a small child. Exhibit A: huge honking crushes on my female kindergarden teacher and the little boy that sat next me in class at the same time. No confusion for this girl. None. Of course I think myself lucky. I don't have any horror stories of realization, feeling like I was pretending, burying my true identity under so many layers that I lashed out or felt the need to belittle somebody else's identity.

3. "Oh, you're one of those."
Exactly what the fuck is this supposed to mean?
Is it in reference to those straight girls that make out on dance floors for attention? Or is it referring to the people that tell their partners they are bisexual in hopes that it makes them more attractive? Both of those scenarios really get under my skin. I have a real problem with people pretending to be anything they are not simply to make themselves attractive to the object of their desire or for attention. My feelings to being true to oneself are strong. I am not "one of those". I am only myself and I am ok with that.

4. "So, your half gay/straight."
Ummm . . . where do I even start on this one?
I am neither gay nor straight. I am pretty solidly bisexual. Just because I find myself in a relationship with somebody who happens to be a woman, does not make me a lesbian. Or if it's a man, straight. The fact of the matter is that I don't stop being bi because I am with one gender or another. In actuality I am a whole person and not half of anything. I'm 100% bisexual.

Those are the tiny battles I fight on a weekly basis. I feel that many times I elicit negative responses because the people that voice them are just ill informed or they are battling with deamons and open wounds that have nothing to do with the reality that is me.
Bisexuality is a big part of my identity; what it says about me is that I am just not that concerned with what is or isn't dangling between somebody's legs. My attraction and connection to people stems from intelligence, character, energy, and good old fashion communication. I think it so sad that relationships are so much about the act of sex and little to do the tantalizing mind-gasm that comes before the knocking boots. Ok, so I should mostly identify as a sapio-bisexual.
What my bisexuality does in fact say about me is that I am human and like everybody I am picky about who I want to get intimate with, what I find attractive, and ultimately who I want to spend the rest of my life with.
I know what I am and I just hope that someday you will too.