Last week was full of changes for me. I finally finished moving in with a couple of my best friends. Unpacking is going somewhat slowly, but prospects of a garage sale this coming weekend is exciting.
So big changes in my life. More than anything, though, is the change I discovered in myself on my way to la casa after work. I had a small epiphany. I was jamming out the radio and enjoying the cooler air sweeping into town. I looked around and knew autumn had hit the Gulf Coast. No brightly colored leaves here just rain, the sent of wet dirt, and cool air.
As I listened to my music I felt it. A tiny wound closing up. A door slamming shut. I have struggling detaching myself from a person I though I was in love with, but he did not want me. Those feelings I had for him finally got shut off today. It happens like that for me. One day I'm crazy in love and heart broken over rejection and the next I am free. That really is what I experience a tightness in my chest gone. A cage door swinging wide a tear in my heart closing up.
Is it wrong I grow cold so quickly? It's a way to survive. The person(s) I am to share my life with would not tear me down and leave me feeling awful about myself. Love doesn't work that way. SO can I feel love? Real love? I don't know. I don't really care. There are reasons I am the Queen of Hearts.
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