Confessions of a Not Girlfriend

I was going to write a brilliant post on parenting, but seeing as I'm not medicated and newly broken hearted; i am going to share my most recent of emotional train wreck.

First off I have a very lame and awful confession to make. It is so ridiculous that I am ashamed to let everyone know. Until very recently I was a Not Girlfriend.
What's a Not Girlfriend?
Let me explain:

A Not Girlfriend is a person that takes up all the emotional, physical, and nurturing duties of a real girlfriend, but is never acknowledged as a girlfriend or given the respect due to a real girlfriend.

A Not Girlfriend gives support and time and helps to heal the other.

A Not girlfriend, to put it plainly, is a place holder.

We talked for hours every night and gave each other advice. Some nights I would sleep over and we would stay up until the wee hours of the morning snuggling on the couch or laughing while we watched movies/tv shows. I would get excited every time the phone rang and it was him. He did not feel the same way, but he did not want to let me go either.

Yesterday I did do something courageous. For once I felt strong. I told him to stop talking to me. It hurts to know that between 9pm and 10:30pm my phone will not ring and I will not fall asleep while he tells me about his day and all the photography stuff that is way over my head. I never found any of it boring.

I move on now. I will ride my newly acquired bicycle and drown my lonelyness in the dulcet tones of Queen. One day I will find myself adoring someone who adores this quirky crazy fat-bottomed girl.